


(R/M)ick(e)y

by AngelCuttingOnions



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-10-23 16:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17686877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelCuttingOnions/pseuds/AngelCuttingOnions
Summary: It wasn't his fault they had the same face, but it sure as hell made everything harder.





	1. (R/M)ick(e)y

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my friend Leo who let me rant about this existing before I actually created it.

Sometimes, quite often actually, Jake despised Mickey. Other times he'd forget, then remember.

It's not like Mickey did anything _wrong_. It's not his fault he looks exactly like- you know.

Although he could have decided to go back to his own damn universe.

No, no he supposed that wasn't his fault either. The Doctor and Rose were well... under appreciating what they had in front of them to put it lightly. To put it not so lightly (but no less true) would be to say that they were bloody morons. 

The first time Jake realized he hated Mickey, was right after another battle taking down another factory. Jake had gotten hit by a bit of shrapnel from an explosion and it had gotten lodged in his leg. Mickey dragged him out, and when they got back to the van he looked Jake in the eyes, probably trying to see if he'd gotten knocked in the head or would pass out.

He looked at Mickey's eyes, his own flicking back and forth between them, and for a split second Jake saw "him."

As soon as he remembered, he despised Mickey, not for who he was, but for who he wasn't.

The next time it was after another takedown of a factory, Jake and Mickey and the small team they'd picked up along the way of this mission were celebrating. Jake grabbed Mickey's shoulder and spun the man towards him, only to be struck with reality and push him back. The look on Jake's face could only be described as terror, as he backed off and ran.

It wasn't Mickey's fault he looked like him, but it sure as hell made things a lot harder.

The third time almost couldn't be helped. When you're traveling to save the whole godforsaken planet with someone, with nothing but a bit of pocket cash, it's basically impossible to avoid crashing in the same bed once or twice. Even more impossible to get separate rooms.

Short on cash and miles away from the only place they could consider home.

They had both crashed on the mattress they'd set up in the back of the van, not the most comfortable of places, but definitely not the worst.

It was another one of those moments when Jake forgot. He intertwined his legs with Mickey's, and for just a split second, everything was right with the world. When it hit him, Jake held his breath, waiting for Mickey to pull away or shove him off, but that never happened. He wondered if Mickey had already fallen asleep, but then the other man spoke.

"You know I'm not 'im."

"... Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"If it 'elps... you can pretend, for a minute. That I'm him."

"You sure?"

"Not really, no." The laugh that came from Jake was short and choked.

"Then I think I'll be fine-"

"Shuddup and sleep." Mickey threw his arm around Jake and tugged him closer. It wasn't the same but almost was. His scent was nearly the same, almost impossible to describe, it reminded him of outside and comfort and safety and adventure, only tainted by the smell of smoke from constantly getting blown up. The way he held Jake in his arms, the sound of his breath and his heartbeat, it was the same, and it _hurt so fucking bad._

When Jake woke up he untangled himself from Mickey, and let the other man wake up on his own.

The two of them never talked about it, but every night it was the same.

Jake wrapped in Mickey's arms, safe for just a moment.


	2. Not His

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leo requested a second part so here we fuckin are.

Mickey knew it wasn't his fault. He knew there wasn't a way he could have changed anything. 

But for some reason he couldn't shake that feeling. Was it survivors guilt? Mickey didn't have anyone. Rose was off with the Doctor, falling for him more every day, no matter how much she denied it. 

Mickey should have been the one who died. Not him. He had someone. Someone had him. 

But Mickey lived and he died and Jake was left alone. He knew what they were to each other. It showed in Jake's eyes when he looked at Mickey for too long. 

It showed in the gentle touches to Mickey's shoulder. It showed in the tone of Jake's voice whenever there was a close call. 

Dammit, Mickey should have died. Mickey the idiot. Not him. He was strong, he was a leader. Mickey was a blind follower. The tin dog. 

Now Jake was alone. They had their unspoken agreement. At night when Jake needed _him_ , Mickey would be there for him instead. But he wasn't Mickey's. He never would be Mickey's. He was just a replacement.

_"You can pretend, for a minute. That I'm him."_

Those were the words Mickey told Jake as he held him close. He had to repeat them to himself every night. This wasn't real. Jake wasn't his. 

He sometimes wondered if this was hurting Jake more than helping him, but then he'd feel the other man relax in his arms, breath evening out as he drifted off to sleep. Jake was more at peace than he had been ever since _he_ died. 

Their nights together turned into days. They'd grasp each other's hands as if to be sure the other was still there, still breathing. It turned into touched and hugs and tears and arguments. 

They weren't meant for each other, they never were, but that didn't mean it couldn't work. 

It was a quiet moment, no more missions, nothing else to do. They were sitting, staring up at the night sky, stars and moon easily seen. They leaned against each other, neither knew which had started to move first. It was desperate and needy.

They were both broken, looking for something they hoped the other could be. 

Mickey knew it was wrong. He knew Jake was looking for him in Mickey. 

But at that moment, when they both connected, Mickey didn't care. 

Mickey knew Jake wasn't thinking about him. When they both came, Mickey stayed silent, waiting to hear Ricky's name called out.

_"M-Mickey!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos or a comment if you’d like!

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so all I can write is angst. It's fine. I'm fine. EVERYTHING'S FINE.


End file.
